untitled
by Piriluk
Summary: She doesn't know what love is. She wasn't made for loving—but for fighting, killing. And stupidly, I fell in love with her anyway. / I can't title rn help me / onesided!LenxRin / somewhat of a oneshot / please R


**a.n. I'm still alive I'm just incredibly dumb. no title because I'm still dumb! haha _surprise._**

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**untitled**

I don't know.

I don't know _why_. Why? Why. Why am I in love with her?

Her. _Her_. Beautiful sapphire eyes, golden locks; a face of an angel and a smile so sweet. I wish I could know why. It's a waste of everything. It's tiring, depressing. It hurts to love someone who cannot love back.

It hurts to look into their eyes; to see nothing for you. They don't see you as anything. To them, you're just another person. You have no real worth.

To them, you're just a human.

"Len?"

I look away from the window. She stands beside my bed, her fingers curled under her shirt's hem. "Are you okay?" she asks softly. "You don't seem very talkative today."

"Yeah." My voice comes out coarse and harsh; I clear my throat. "I'm fine, Rin."

The girl perches herself on the edge of the bed. She looks at me over her shoulder, resting her hands in her lap. "How are you feeling?" she queries, gesturing to my chest.

I sigh, unconsciously reaching up to it. "It still hurts to move. But Kaito's dad said I should be fine in a few days, I guess."

"That's good," she murmurs. She looks guilty. I think she'll keep looking guilty for a while; even though I wish she wouldn't. "I'm still really sorry, though. I'm so sorry, Len."

I stare at her. "Don't be. It was my choice. I told you."

"Yeah, but if I didn't drag you into this mess, you wouldn't be here," Rin answers. Her eyes look tired; she probably hasn't been sleeping well. I wouldn't be, either, if I was her.

Selfishly, I wish she was capable of loving. I wish for a lot of things, though.

I say nothing and look back out the window. It isn't really a window. Just a hologram; showing a fake world we all wish we had. In the strangest way, I miss the Surface. I miss the authenticity of it all.

"But really, Len," she insists. "What's wrong? There's something wrong."

Annoyed, I close my eyes and wish she'd leave. But I wish she would stay, too. "It's…" I exhale.

I can't say it.

"Never mind. There's nothing wrong," I say.

"You can talk to me, Len," she tells me, reaching for my hand and touching it gently.

I pull my hand away, with regret, and I avoid looking at her hurt expression. "I can't."

"Why not?" She sounds dejected.

Her questions make frustration rise up inside of me. I turn to look at her hastily, and Rin jumps, startled. "I just _can't_. You wouldn't understand. You would never understand, Rin."

She furrows her eyebrows. "Why?" I can understand her confusion—she's supposed to be smarter and better than the average human—but this isn't about intelligence.

I feel anger boiling below the surface, as well as resentment, as well as sadness. My hands shaking and I clench the sheets, my knuckles turning white. Why does she keep persisting? Can't she leave it? I want to calm down; but I can't. Without thinking, I reach out and grasp Rin by the shoulders.

I freeze, realising what I was about to do, gazing into her widened ocean-blue eyes. "Len?"

If I've thrown myself in this situation, I'm going to have to carry it out, and then hope that somehow we all forget what happened today by tomorrow. Regret turns my stomach.

Taking a nervous breath, in one swift movement, I pull her towards me and kiss her soft lips.

It's brief; she's frozen from surprise and I'm shaking from nerves, so I pull away quickly. When I lean back, she looks at me, perplexed. Like I said: she doesn't understand. She can't love me. Above everything, it's physically and mentally impossible for her to feel affection.

Somewhere, deep inside, I hoped she would though. That what Leon said was a lie. But all those hopes are crushed in a single moment as she stares at me, appalled, with fear and bewilderment in her eyes. It hurts, even though I expected it.

I close my eyes. "I'm sorry. Can you leave me alone?" I ask quietly.

Rin doesn't respond, but I feel her weight lift off the bed and a second later she's gone.

She doesn't know what love is. She wasn't made for loving—but for fighting, _killing_. And stupidly, I fell in love with her anyway.

It still hurt even though I knew, even though I thought I had accepted it.

But hope is always what betrays me.

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**OKAY _SO! _caligo chapter 3 is still a WIP but I'm working on it when I can. please be patient I'm tryingggg sobs viciously. rn I'm writing a story for English and it has to be less than 1000 words _that's too little can it be 10,000 please._**

**this is something I wrote a while ago that I found in amongst my other 200 unfinished fanfics; actually, it's supposed to be part of a story I wanted to write, but I've only written bits and pieces... I'm having difficulty writing the beginning. (I do intend on doing it though! because why not. I'll wait until I've got Caligo underway tho.)**

**I might not include this in the actual story, though, because it's kind of lame haha. I'll see.**

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**so, I'll do a little background explanation on the story so this makes sense:**

**THIS IS OBVIOUSLY SET IN THE FUTURE! don't ask me when. I don't even remember what happened yesterday (laughs nervously).**

**Leon** is Rin's 'guardian' in the story. he's a scientist and shiz. at this time, he is deceased, because (insert decent reason here).

**Rin** is a 'human', but her genes were tampered with to make her 'better' (stronger than the average human, faster than the average human, etc.). reason why is that she has to kick ass without giving a shit. yeah. her 'not being able to love' is one of her unfortunate blessings from the scientists that messed with her because they thought that romance/love/affection could get in the way with her job, so they removed that and any other emotions that could be capable of crippling her/her performance in any way. so she was born as a major bitch (except Leon taught her to act less bitchy. denk u Leon-sama uwu)

**Len **is a human. he's the main character. he has a major weaaboo crush on Rin. mclovin' it.

**also, there's 'Kaito's dad' who is an OC (for now? it might change). he's kind-of-a-scientist. (it's really difficult oke just pretend you understand me.)**

**what's wrong with Len?** he got shot in the chest and now he ded (jk but he got shot in the chest protecting Rin because ahh rabu3)

**when they refer to the Surface, they literally mean the surface of Earth, bc they live underground due to some dumb shit human beings did a couple of decades ago. denk u hoomanitee! and ofc they use holograms to make everything seem 'closer to home' despite them living in some special underground human capsule city things.**

**such beautiful story.**

**ok bye I have to finish my English assignment before I go to sleep (CRIES BC IT'S SO BAD AND THE ENGLISH TEACHER WILL PROBABLY SHIT ON MY UNIQUE *NOTREALLYUNIQUE* IDEA AND TELL ME TO WRITE SOME LAME STORY)**

**PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU LOVE ME. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. (deep breathing)**


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